#162 You Ask, We Answer - 23


September 25th, 2019

58 mins 42 secs

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About this Episode

EMAIL 1 - Our wedding, their anniversary
Hello Christy and Michelle,
We are getting married in December and we are honored to share the date with my parents. It will be my parents' 57th anniversary on the day and we are trying to think of a significant way to celebrate this.
My parents are very reserved people and would never want to take away from our day, but they are wonderful and deserve the recognition. I have asked about a First Dance song, but they did not have one. My mother has been struggling with her mobility as well, do a significant dance would not be viable. I'm confident that our DJ/MC will be able to handle whatever we present, now we just need a plan.
Let me know if you need any additional information.

I can tell you from experience, I have done many weddings when another special day is
recognized and worked into the celebration as a surprise and I love it every time. So do the guests. And it's really fun for the couple to know that one element of the wedding will surprise, delight and honor a loved one...so I am thrilled y'all are thinking about this!
I know they didn't have a first dance song, but is there a song that is particularly special to them? I was thinking your DJ could play a mash up of your first dance song, and then it could fade into a song that they would recognize as special, as you two are dancing and have everyone's attention and then you could simply stop and walk over to them both and hug them and motion for them to be recognized. Maybe bring them out on to the dance floor - not necessarily to dance or sway since mobility is an issue - but to have the attention of your guests. The DJ could fade the music out and you could take them mic to say that this is their anniversary and you wanted to take the opportunity to tell them how much you learned about marriage by their example, and how much you love them. (You can also do this toast before you cut the cake, when you have the attention and the photographer is there with you.). Or you can do something where instead of tossing the bouquet, Sara gives it to your mom and you both give them a nice toast or something to your parents - private or to everyone - to honor them on a special day for them too.
Again - I love that you are thinking of this, and I really hope you do find a way to shine the light and attention on them because it will be so meaningful and memorable, even more so because it is your wedding day. I really think it's wonderful!
Please, Brett, keep us posted and updated and send pics! Happy planning!!

EMAIL 2 - conversation about flowers, DIY ASK
Good morning!
I was wondering if you had any advice on how to decide on centerpieces? My aesthetic is romantic whimsical natural. My colors are muted blues and pinks - like dusty blue, navy, mauve, Cabernet, blush, whites, etc. I like lots of greenery and natural elements. On Pinterest I think I’ve found hundreds of centerpieces that align with my aesthetic but I just can’t decide and I don’t know how to start narrowing it down. My wedding is in April and my future mother in law in starting to put the pressure on that we need to figure them out sooner rather than later so we can get them done in time.
HALP.. please
(more info in an email conversation:
My future mother in law has taken on the responsibility of the DIY centerpieces and I am not opposed to finding the best option for our wallets and our stress levels. Meaning if this DIY becomes too overwhelming for us, I would be okay with hiring some help.
We will be hiring a florist, if all goes well, only for the bouquets.
I want my bouquet to have lots of natural elements and texture - Im thinking the muted colors along with sticks/greenery/pappas grass
Right now the plan is to have FMOL do the "decor"
Any bouquets are the florist. Plan A is to be doing DIY boutonnieres and corsages.
BTW do you have any suggestions for an alternative to corsages? The mothers, grandmothers, aunts, whoever that traditionally get a corsage. I dont really like corsages I think they look too Prom-y but I cant come up with anything as an alternative to set these wonderful ladies apart.

So attached are some alternatives for the ladies personal flowers, in place of a traditional wrist corsage. I think style has a lot to do with why some of them look prom-y. A single bloom corsage can look much more modern and elegant. And I love the floral bracelet, if you really want to make a statement. A pinned corsage is also a great option, and you can modernize it by making it more of a shoulder piece, like the photo.
As far as picking centerpieces...if your FMIL is going to make these and handle other reception decor, I think it will be easiest if you give her some specific blooms you like and a basic color palette - as you have described. Pick no more than 5 photos that you like to reference for her and let her use these as INSPIRATION - not to try to perfectly recreate. If you are expecting perfection, I am afraid you will be disappointed and then she might see that disappointment and it will become a....thing. And you don't want that. So be very specific about what you like, but don't overwhelm her with too many photos. 5 colors, examples of greenery- how its mixed in, what the proportions are - and then 3-4 specific blooms that you really like. If you want her to use fresh flowers instead of faux, make sure the blooms you like are in season.
I think the easiest way to plan for DIY decoration is to go one of two ways - either mis-matchy on purpose, or VERY simple with the containers and decor items so that everything coordinates and there isn't a ton of thought needed...like all basic, clear glass containers. Low cylinders for the centerpieces, and then some basic clear glass votives (like 7 per table and more for the bar and extra tables like the cake table). I think if you choose this option, though, the flowers need to be really well done. Because the base is very simple. If you go for mismatchy, your FMIL can have some fun buying containers and frames and signage and candles and whatnot that fits into the scheme...and then the flowers and greenery can be more simple. You have to tell her the direction to take and then let her run with it. Like 'all vintage milk glass' or all 'mixed metals and mercury glass' or all 'seaglass colors and textures'. See where I'm going with this? You have to set the parameters, but give her the room to be creative.
Good luck and please let us know how it goes! Christy

EMAIL 3 -From the Facebook Group community

  • RSVP cards with no guests names!
  • Currently in the phase of planning where I’m overthinking everything... how do y’all plan on presenting menus? One at each place setting? A few on each table? FIB? We’re having a buffet, so I plan on making labels for the buffet as well.
  • Hey, can anyone help me answer the following questions: 1) what is wedding dress cleaning and preservation and how is this different from dry cleaning? 2) what are people paying for this? My seamstress quoted me a couple hundred dollars which sounds so high!
  • Has anyone had a family member/friend design all the paper products and print on their own? One of my very dear family friends is in graphic design and has generously offered to do custom designs for our invitation suite and/or wedding programs. I just don't even know where or how we would do all the printing on these fancy papers I keep reading about! Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. https://www.paperandmore.com/pages/wedding-shop