#151 You Ask, We Answer - 20


July 10th, 2019

55 mins 14 secs

Your Hosts

About this Episode

Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer BONUS episode! We are answering questions from the facebook group.

Ask: Okay guys HELP! My wedding is in about 16 days and I am putting together my wedding day timeline. I have been going back-and-forth with my hair and make up team and my photographer about what time we should start and finish hair and make up and what time the photographer should show up. My photographer said he’s very flexible (as he is a friend of mine.) But this doesn’t help my hair and make up team because they want to know an exact time that he’s going to show up so she can be almost done. I have about eight people getting their hair done and I think like 4/5 people getting their make up done (including myself on this). hair and make up said that they would like to be done by 12 or one so I can start taking photos with my girls and my mom. The ceremony starts at 5:30, do you guys think this is too early or is this normal? I dont have a wedding planner. So it’s all on me right now. 😬 thanks for the help i hope this name sense!

Answer: 1-5:30 is a lot of down time. I don’t think you need to have the HMU be done by noon. Working backward from the ceremony start time... you want to be chilling and ‘quarantined’ at the ceremony site by 5:00. You need two hours of photo time, max. With buffer time for getting around, that puts you at HMU finish time of 2:00. I suggest HMU from 9:30-1:45. Photographer arrives in the ‘getting ready suite’ at 1. Shoots you and ladies and details like your ring, bouquet, shoes. Then you all do your photos- bridesmaids, moms. He’ll have time for venue shots and groom shots before the ceremony prelude begins at 5. - C

Siobhán McCormack Agreed, seems like a ton of down time considering you're not doing first looks or family photos before the wedding. Everyone is different but I think I'd maybe be sitting around getting nervous and impatient for so many hours! I'd try and see if you can share your concern with the hmu, figure out if they're rushing to another event or what the logic is for the early start. I'd imagine you want your make up and hair as fresh as possible for the ceremony, rather than done four or five hours early. Unless you have one of them staying for later on for touch ups in which case no worries! And maybe you could think of something to do with your bridal party to pass the time if there's simply no way around it or something

Ask: Hi everyone! I recently had my first alterations appointment. A couple things bugged me and I’m wondering if they were “normal.” The first is that the alterations were $800 for adding lace sleeves, hemming, and taking in different places in the torso. The seamstress complained a lot about how difficult the lace would be to take apart (there are two layers sewn together) to make the sleeves, but that still seems really expensive?? The dress was $3000 (over budget to begin with 😝). I was budgeting around $500 for alterations.

The second was that they wanted me to come in the week of my wedding for my last fitting, and only scheduled my next fitting for August. That seems like a really compressed time schedule and they said no when I asked to pick up the dress the weekend before the wedding. The explanation was that if I want any changes, she will do it the same day on a weekday. She also explicitly said she didn’t want me to have it at home for too long. I guess they’re thinking I would stare at the dress in their closet and want to make more changes? But I really don’t want another huge errand to run the week of my wedding since it’s a two hour drive to the shop.

I’m thinking of emailing them to confirm that a) the $800 is the final price for alterations (since they didn’t write the total on the slip I signed) and b) ask to pick it up the previous week (even on a weekday). Is that reasonable? Thanks in advance!!!

Answer: The dress looks beautiful and alterations are expensive...I don't know if you could get a better price at a competitors business. But I do think if you are uncomfortable with the timing, you should be firm about getting the dress when you want it. I wouldn't want another errand to do the week of either! They don't want to lose your business and you haven't paid them...so, tell them you want it on a certain date and if they can't accommodate that, you'll come get the dress now and bring it somewhere else. -C

My wedding is in August and they scheduled 1 fitting in June; 1 in July a month before so if anything else needs to be tweaked we have 4 weeks to do it. My estimate is $400 for hemming, switching cups to larger size, taking in the whole bodice, darts added to the neckline and a bustle. I’m in central NY where most things are cheaper. - KP

Honestly the more intricate the lace is the more $$$ the alterations tend to be. If you’re doing a full lace sleeve and the lace goes to the hem on your dress, this price does not surprise me one bit. Is your bustle included in that total, too?

In my experience, it’s better to do your final fitting as close to the wedding day as you can, within reason. The thinking about having it at your house for too long is that something could happen to it (I’ve seen spills, pet damage, etc) before the wedding.

I don’t know if they’d confirm a final price because it sounds like the seamstress isn’t sure how complex these changes will be with the lace on your gown and a custom request of sleeves. It’s wedding season so they may not be able to accommodate changes since it really gets nuts in the summertime.

Honestly, it doesn’t seem too out of whack overall but if you’re uncomfortable I think it’s worth having a clarifying conversation with the seamstress. - CL

More about Kids
Ask: As someone who doesn't have children I'm struggling with this a bit...
I was just tackling our seating chart when I realized that not all babies will need a seat and of course some will need high chairs.
At what age should you provide a high chair vs. no chair at all?

Also, we're providing a coach from the church to the reception venue. Should we be trying to provide child seats/booster seats or is it totally acceptable to ask parents to arrange this themselves? We asked guests to let us know if they wanted to be included on the coach and a number of parents with kids/babies said yes.

Answer: Really depends on the kid. Babies usually need a high chair from around five or six months on (once they can sit up). Moving to a normal chair anywhere from 18 months to almost three years old. Suggest provide one for everyone six months to 2.5 years old and have a few in reserve if needed. Or check with the parents of the 2-3 year olds if you need exact numbers. -S

You don't need to provide child-appropriate transportation. If parent bring kids, it's on them to deal with the logistics. High chairs are very nice for any kids like 9 months-3 years I'd say. Chairs are good for 4 and up. Brittany and Siobhan had helpful comments too! -C

Sunset pics
Ask: I need some help with figuring out the start of my ceremony. Sunset will be at 6:24pm in Dallas on my wedding day, 2-29-20. I’m pro first look and ceremony should be about 30 mins.

Answer: Assuming you want photos at Golden Hour and/or at sunset, I would suggest this:

4-4:30 ceremony
4:30-5:30 cocktails
5:30 call to dinner
5:45 guest are all seated, start toasts
6-7:30 dinner

In this scenario, you can take photos at Golden Hour during cocktail reception and/or you can go for sunset photos while guests are eating dinner. -M

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