Because 3 wedding experts are better than 2! This episode is rapid fire, Q&A Style! We are so happy to have Anne Chertoff of WeddingWire back in the recording studio (haha) and since this is a sequel, we are following up with Anne. We are talking about second weddings, registries, receiving lines, favors, fashion and welcome gifts.
The Second Time Around: If you are getting married for the second time...you may feel like you need to make some adjustments, do some things differently, but you can acknowledge that the situation is different the second time around, but still VERY important! Throw ‘rules’ out the window and celebrate your wedding, your way. Anne suggests doing something relevant to the time of your life that you are in - because that is different than the first time you got married.
The Wedding Gown: Are you ‘supposed’ to be totally over the moon for your wedding dress? We think there is a weird pressure to be 100% sure that your dress is the answer to all your prayers. But the truth is, not all brides actually feel this way about their dress. If you have an awesome gut feeling, trust it! If you don’t, we suggest you accept it and move on logically and with purpose - because the wedding and the marriage is the important part. Everyone’s priorities are different! Focus on and embrace your own. (But we also think you should feel BEAUTIFUL in your wedding dress, one way or another.)
On another bride-fashion note...where does a stylish lesbian get a perfect suit? Anne reminds us that the important part is that you match your spouse in formality. Remember that you want to look like the 2 people getting married - together. Not a bride and a guest. (See our links for 2 great recommendations for women’s suits.) Go for high quality fabrics, and find an AWESOME tailor - fit is everything. Also, we think a grey vest with black pants is totally fine!
Receiving line: Does the prospect alone have you all stressed out? Anne shares her advice for getting some face time with every guest, without having to walk around to every table during dinner (and forget that you have to eat too!). Also, consider a moment during the ceremony to turn to your guests and acknowledge your guests, make eye contact, feel the love. It only takes a moment!
Family Dynamics: We talk about this A LOT on the podcast. If your parents are paying for the wedding, do you have to do everything their way? If your family is very traditional, is it your duty to include every tradition in your wedding? It’s all about compromise! And deciding what is worth arguing about! We strongly suggest you use your vendors to help you solve ‘issues’ - your wedding planner, your caterer, your photographer...all of these people can help you before the wedding, to plan and to problem solve. Our vendors are professionals and they’re probably creative and resourceful. And all wedding planners want to have a plan A, B and C - so trouble-shooting before the wedding day is the way to go!
Gifts For Guests: Thinking about a welcome gift for guests? We are all big fans of totes! Practical, personalized and cute - fill em with bottles of water, a local map and a few granola bars for the wedding weekend - easy, peasy. Also - how fun are mix tapes? USB style = even better!
Links we referenced
Our first episode with Anne
“Bridesmaids spend on average $1200 on a wedding.” - Anne, citing a WeddingWire study (yikes!)
“Remember the first wedding...it’s part of your history. It’s part of your story.” - Michelle, wisdom about life’s cycles
“No one is going to say, “Mazel tov! You look horrible.” - Anne. So pick the dress you want and don’t worry about it!
“I think a big mistake couples make is thinking that if they don’t register for anything, then they’ll get cash. And that’s not the case.” - Anne, for a lot of reasons. People want to buy GIFTS, y’all!
“Edible favors are always going to be popular...cookies with your names on them, a box of mini donuts at the end of the night...I love edible favors.” - Anne
“With welcome gifts, it’s really going to depend on your budget.” - Anne, doesn’t it all depend on the budget?
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Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences!