#146 "Marriage Means Family" A Transgender Wedding

June 5th, 2019

1 hr 3 mins 5 secs

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About this Episode

Brenda and Mason have been through a lot to get to where they are now: newlyweds celebrating each day they have together as a married couple. In this episode, a couple shares their individual stories of transitions that led them to each other, and explain what marriage means to them.

Big Takeaways
Self realization plays a huge part in the love story of Brenda and Mason. Each came to their true identities later in life, although they took pretty opposite roads to get there. When they met, they fell in "love at first sight." The journey from there to the altar was brief. But the journey to self love that each of them took prior to that first date was the more profound step to their happily ever after. You know the old saying - you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. Or something like that...you know the one. The vague platitude has never been more true than in Brenda and Mason’s case.

For many LGBTQI couples, a wedding day has a different meaning and tone to it. First of all - the guests there may be a chosen family, as in Brenda and Mason’s wedding. And the act of marriage itself - the choice - carries a ton of meaning, because it wasn’t available, legally, even a few years ago. Marriage is not something that transgender couples take for granted. It is not an inevitable decision, to enter into marriage, like it is for so many straight cis-gender couples.

Mason summed it up beautifully when he said that for him, marriage means family. It’s simple and it’s vital. It means that when Brenda and Mason go out together as a couple, today, living their truth, they don’t feel questioned. It means that Mason beams with pride every time he refers to Brenda as his wife. It means that they ride in the same car when caravaning to an event. Each has chosen to transition in life, and each questioned whether a traditional wedding and marriage would ever be possible. It is. And they never take it for granted.

This episode is personal and we feel honored to tell their story - or rather, to listen as they tell it. Visibility, representation, and equality are all important to us and we’re proud to use our platform to reflect that. We sincerely hope you like this episode as much as we liked producing it!

Links we referenced
www.indochino.com promo code BIGWEDDING (any premium suit for $359!)

Quotes
“I ended up on my knees and I prayed to God. God what is wrong with me?” - Brenda, on life before transitioning

"I had all these preconceived notions. And after I realized that the preconceived notions about myself were wrong, I had to learn how to live again. And so I just listened. And as I was immersed in this new world, I listened. And it was amazing." - Brenda

“Now I look back and everything makes sense, but at that time, it was very confusing.” - Brenda

“I always envied people that could get married. I knew we couldn’t do that.” - Mason

“To me it feels like, when you have that bond, you make that commitment, you sign the paper, you become a family with that person. You are viewed from the outside world as a family. We’re together, we’re married. It’s accepted.” - Mason

“With him it was very natural, he’s the first guy and the only guy I ever kissed.” - Brenda

“I wanted to be with Brenda and I didn’t want someone else to snatch her away.” - Mason

“Some of the trans men go into the straight world and live, but I always found the gay community accepting, and a lot more fun.” - Mason

“I like being able to be myself.“ - Brenda

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