#43 Thanks But No Thanks

About This Episode

Breaking up is hard to do! In this episode, we are talking about etiquette and how to let a vendor know you will not be working with them. Perhaps you want to go in another direction and hire someone else, or if you want to fire a vendor AFTER signing a contract with them. Do you need to email vendors that you have reached out to to tell them that you don’t want to hire them? Yes! Can dumping a vendor after signing their contract be very messy? Yes!
We talked to lots of planners for this episode and we have big opinions to share - as always!

Big Takeaways
Hey- this is a buyer’s market. You, as the couple, have LOTS of options for who you hire to be on your vendor team. Vendors understand that you are likely comparing prices and proposals. You will have plenty of good reasons to hire one vendor over another. We get it! But please don’t ghost us. If you have had a conversation with a wedding planner or vendor, and you decide not to hire them, take a minute and send a quick email to tell them that you aren’t going to hire them. That’s all it takes.

When declining a vendor, should you tell them why? Sure! Especially if you have a good rapport with them, and if the decision was a really close call. It’s nice for us vendors to hear why you went with someone else...was it budget? Proximity? Experience? How I accept payment? If there was a primary factor that went into your decision making, let us know! It helps us with our BUSINESS. And we won’t take it personally if you phrase it politely. We’re professionals, after all.

The main response from all the planners we talked to was Please tell us! Let us close the file out, release the date, move on, mourn...even a quick rejection email is better than nothing. It’s good for us. Just keep it polite, please.

If you decide to hire a full wedding planner - the planner will be the one to put feelers out for vendors and the planner will be the one to decline vendors as you move through your hiring process. Thats a big plus of hiring a full planner, right? Right! A full planner will essentially do the ‘dirty work’ for you! You won’t even be cc’d on the email! Clean and easy.

If you do hire a vendor, pay the retainer, sign the contract...and THEN decide to part ways with the vendor...things can be a little trickier. It’s not as easy and simple as writing a quick email. You’ll likely lose money, and it may be an awkward process, just by virtue of a contract being broken. So our big advice for this episode is to carefully consider each and every vendor and read contracts carefully. Look at options, scope out the competition. Do your due diligence before you hire vendors, because you don’t want to change your mind halfway in and lose money.

Remember that if you tell vendor A the reason you are leaning towards vendor B...then vendor A might be able to make some concessions to meet your needs. Negotiations aren’t always going to go your way, but you won’t know until you try!

Links we referenced
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Quotes
“I’ve been dumped.” -Christy “Me too.” - Michelle.
See? It happens to the best of us!

Re: Ghosting: “Take a second and show me a little respect, esp. If I have taken time to begin a rapport with you. At Weddingwire World one of the speakers talked about millennials and this just being their communication style. They seem to think this is just fine.” - Planner from our informal survey

“I’m totally bummed when I get broken up with, but I still want to know. I’m not going to cry and quit my job.” - Christy, feeling the feelings and moving on

“Rejection is part of this.” - Michelle, truth!

“Best of luck to you, truly. I hope you find an amazing planner who fits perfectly and meets all your needs.” - Christy

Get In Touch
Let us know if you have any questions you need answered on the show or if you want to share your own wedding planning experiences!
TWITTER: @TBWPpodcast
EMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com